Don't Judge

Written 12w3d

I had my second appointment yesterday and it was great. After being stressed all day the nurse warned me that they might not be able to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler. I knew this was possible, so, eyes bulging, I asked her what would happen then. She reassured me that we would immediately go to the ultrasound room to check it out. Phew.

Anyway, my blood pressure was high for me since I'd been stressed all day, but they seemed ok with everything else. She started moving the Doppler around, and there it was! My little woosh woosh. HR 160!!! Yay!

Now I'm free to let the cat out of the bag.

The point of this story is that after stressing all day I had a raging headache that would not quit. Of course I can't take any good drugs for it, so I did a little Tylenol and tried to sleep it off. I woke up this morning nauseous and still with the headache. It felt just like a hangover. So I decided to do a last ditch effort with a true hangover cure. I stopped at McDonald's and got a sausage biscuit and a small Coke. It did the trick. That's only the second caffinated beverage I've had this pregnancy but otherwise I was going to have to take a sick day. Good to know some things still work.

Thanksgiving

Written 11w2d

My appointment is one week from today! Sheesh the time seemed to crawl by. Thanksgiving day was long but nice. I missed my family, but we had a nice time with A's in IL. The food was better then usual and we played a fun game of Phase 10. The family is very excited, so I only hope that everything goes well next week. Not only do I fear how I would handle it but how the families will take it. I keep praying though, and I guess that's the best I can do.

11 Weeks

Written 11w0d

Not much to report this week. I'm glad it's Thanksgiving week so I can sleep and sleep and sleep. I've caught myself slipping this week as I hear people talk about their T1 experiences. But I'm just not ready to share with the world though. I keep praying that my appointment next week goes smoothly so I can feel a little more happy and a little less scared.

A Quote

Written at 10w5d

My friend Alyssa is pregnant! She announced this week at 14w. She was one of my best supporters as we tried and tried. Alyssa finally got pregnant on her second round of IVF, and I just could not be happier for her. She and her husband will make great parents, and I'm excited that our kids can, hopefully, spend some time together. Her due date is almost exactly one month before mine.

Anyway, like me, she waited to tell and wrote blog posts to update the time between finding out and telling. Last night's post was about symptoms and lack thereof. So far, I have had a VERY easy pregnancy. So easy in fact, that every day I think it might not be real. I've had almost NO nausea, my bloating has definitely gotten under control, and, more than anything, I'm just tired. Not so bad. Well, I worry that these easy peasy symptoms must mean something is wrong. I feel like December 1 won't ever get here, and I just need to hear that heartbeat again to reassure me that everything is ok.

But on to the quote. Alyssa said, "I really want to be at a place where I feel okay to be "p," confident to say it and not constantly worry. Every free moment I have, I say a prayer for the babies that they're okay and strong and growing. I'm not sure I'll feel that way until I see and hear heartbeats which hopefully will be very soon!" [I'm not linking her blog since it's so personal, but if I get permission I'll add the links.]

Obviously I only have one heartbeat to listen for but I really feel the need to know that everything is ok in there. My doctor was very clear that since we saw and heard the baby at 8w, everything is PROBABLY fine. In fact, the odds are STRONGLY in our favor. Nevertheless, it was hard to get here. I can't imagine how shattered I will be if we lose this baby.

Chin up! Thanksgiving is this week and I only have two days of work! Hopefully I can get some sewing in over the break because I've been too tired to do any since getting knocked up. Lol

10 Weeks

Written 10w0d

Double digits!

OITT is now the size of a prune.

I was a little freaked over the weekend because my abdomen was sore. Not crampy or anything, just sore like I had done 1000 crunches. I called the doc and the nurse said I was fine. She then said I was not annoying and that they were there for just such calls.

Not to worry though, my symptoms came back today. I'm super bloated and thinking about bed and it's only 7:30. I also bought maternity pants this weekend to make room for my blump. Actually, I think it might be a real, honest to goodness, tiny bump. My lower abdomen is hard and when I TRY to suck it in, it is almost painful.

Two weeks and two days until the next appointment.

9 Weeks

Written at 9w0d

Look at those beautiful fingers!


More growing. I'm feeling pretty good. My latest cravings are cheese sandwiches, yogurt, and milk. Apparently the baby needs Calcium. The only thing that IS new is a little heartburn. It's not too bad, but I can definitely feel it.

I went out for Mexican with a couple friends last week. Holy bloat batman! Those salty chips really blew me up. Note to self: While salty food tastes as delicious as ever, when you are already having water retention problems, it just gets out of control.

Telling my parents

Written at 8w2d

We told my parents tonight. They had already planned a trip to town, and we decided to wait until we got a chance to tell them in person. I had dinner with them last night, but I wanted to make sure A was with me when they found out.

I didn't really want to do anything big, I just wanted to make sure we were physically together when I told them. We had a nice dinner together and luckily I'm sick, so it has been easy to pass off not drinking. After dinner, I gave my dad a bag with the World Series shirt we got him. A copy of the ultra sound was in the bag. There were tears, squeals, etc. I have to admit that I was creeped out when my dad kept telling A, "well done." Ew.

Now we get to spend a fun weekend together.

Another week

Written 8w0d



It looks like a duck. But it's my cutie pie little baby duck.

My biggest symptoms continue to be gas, constipation, and the vicious cycle of desperate thirst and a constant need to pee. The dogs are extra cuddly, I've started wearing A's PJ pants (I have to tie them on, but the waistband on mine are just a little too snug on my blump,) and I'm in bed by 9:00 every night. I'm pretty sure my puke fest last week was actually a bug not m/s. That's a blessing.

A says he can see changes in my belly, but I still contend that it isn't a real bump yet.

The scary moment today was when I tripped on a kid's backpack in my classroom. I fell all the way down, and, to add insult to injury, the doctor's office sent me to St. John's to get double checked even though it was probably no big deal. I have to get a RhoGam shot tomorrow since I'm O negative and there could be a chance that the baby is Rh positive and there MIGHT be a mixing of blood.

After the u/s, I started hopping online again, but I've again restricted myself. Too much Bump makes me way too paranoid. I still think about getting an at-home Doppler just to ease my mind. Then I wonder how neurotic I can really be. I think I'll wait to see how I feel about it at my next appointment when the nurse uses it on me.

On to week 9!

Baby's first Halloween

Written at 7w6d

There it is!


I think it looks like a T-Rex with its giant head and teeny tiny arms. Ha! My official due date is June 12, the doctor says I have less than a 3% chance of miscarriage now, and we are starting to tell our families.

BTW, if you look really closely at the ultrasound, there are darker spots on the head that make it look like the baby is smiling. Every time I get stressed about miscarriage, I tell myself "I'm pregnant today" and then I look at the little embryo smile.

I thought I'd be lucky

Written at 6w6d

I really haven't had much morning sickness etc. Some food aversions (chicken and eggs especially) but nothing too bad.

Then it got to be today. Ugh. Raging headache and puking all morning.

It's reassuring to have symptoms. That tells me that things are still progressing. I had forgotten how gross it feels to throw up though. At least I got to leave work early since my last class ended at 11:20.

Doctor's appointment is one week from today!

The Internet Can Be Scary

Written at estimated 5w4d

Since we aren't really telling people for a while yet, I of course felt the need to find imaginary friends to inundate with my fears, questions, etc. My forum of choice was the June 2012 board on The Bump.

Generally published statistics indicate that about 20% of pregnancies result in miscarriage during the first trimester. Some other statistics I've read say that the majority of that 20% occur before the six week mark. Everyone seems to agree that if you can see the heartbeat on the ultrasound, the chances drop dramatically. Well, my first appointment isn't for another two weeks, so of course I have to stress and try to find out every little thing.

Back to the board and referring to the 20% statistic. I swear, the June 2012 board has already had SO MANY miscarriages! It looks like WAY more than 20%. Suddenly the place that started as a comfort to me reminding me that gas pains are not a sign of m/c has become a constant reminder that I am afraid I will lose this pregnancy. I am also so grateful every time I have a small cramp, feel tired or nauseated, and my boobs hurt.

Oh yeah, I also took another test this morning to make myself feel better. I also found this picture of little OitT.

What's in a name?

Written 5w0d

I had been wondering what I would call this little thing growing inside me. At least until we know a gender, etc. I had decided on my little uterine hitchhiker.



I told Andy, but what did he hear? He heard Onion in the Trunk. So now, that is what we have. Our little OitT.

I wish real conversations were this funny. Instead we have to rely on mishearing stuff. Oh well, at least that happens a lot. :)

Today is 5 weeks!

Such a Long Wait!

Written 4w6d

I called the doctor on Monday morning, 10/10. They don't want to see me until 10/31!!!! Boo. I want someone to see me now. Even though I know that waiting until then means I'll hopefully get to hear the heartbeat, I'm like Veruca Salt. I want it NOW!



We haven't told any family yet. What to do, what to do. I don't know if I can hold in my happiness for three whole weeks!

I'm a Worrywart

Written 4 weeks 6 days

I've been noticing a fair amount of camping and stuff the past couple days. It totally stressed me out, but Dr. Google tells me that, so long as there is no bleeding, I'm ok. Apparently, it's my uterus stretching.

That's all well and good, but then I get worried when I DON'T feel the cramps.

I know too much science. This early pregnancy thing is stressful since I know how many fall apart at this point.

Good thoughts, good thoughts!

Well huh

Look what I saw on 10/08.



And the next morning after a trip to Walgreen's.


I will be posting a series on the weeks between this and my official announcement.

Written 4 weeks 5 days

Thanksgiving Projects

I took Thanksgiving break to take care of some crafty projects I had been wanting to do.

First, remember when I said I wanted new stockings?

Well, I ended up just taking A to the fabric store and let him pick his fabric. I still don't like how goofy and kid-like they are, but at least they are new, the same size, and kind of match.


His


Mine

We also put up and decorated the tree.


AND, I made a new wreath for the front door. I've been obsessed with yarn wreathes, so I did one of those. It isn't perfect, but I think it came out well for my first try.

I'll probably make more for year-round use.

Currently, I NEED to get busy on two gift quilts for Christmas. I'm also making an ornament for an exchange with some of my imaginary internet friends.

I hope all of your holidays are starting off well!

Woot!

Check it out! The trailer for the Hunger Games was released. Squee!



So excited to see the movies since the books were pretty much awesome.

Better Late than Never

The St. Louis Cardinals won the 2011 World Series!

I know I said I was sick of baseball, but once the playoffs really got started, it was pretty fun.

Then, out of the blue, my brother decided to come to town for Game 7, and my dad offered to buy tickets for A and me. Cool!

Here is a little photoessay of the night.


The stadium


Before the game. (I forget that I have a screen protector which makes the whole image grainy.)


Budweiser wagon and crowd.


Clydesdales and more crowd. This wasn't half as bad as it got. Through most of the game people were pressing up against the fences trying to catch a glimpse of anything they could. It was crazy.


More pre-game crowd


My brother and me. It was cold!




We win! Look at all the confetti.

Through the playoffs, I followed Alan Craig's tortoise's Twitter feed. Here is the accounts final profile pic.


It was a fun post season. Now, I get to really focus on football. Hook 'em horns!

Baste, Quilt, and Bind

I did it! I finished a real quilt. It's small (roughly 36x36) so I'll use it as a lap quilt while I'm watching TV and stuff. I guess I can also take it to outdoor activities. It isn't perfect, but I really am pretty proud of myself.

Here is a picture of the back.


And here is the front.


Clearly I should have ironed it, but there you have it. Go me. :)

Who wants to be crafty?

It's been a while since I pulled out my sewing stuff, but this weekend I had some time and no desire to grade or write college recs. Therefore I spent a lovely fall weekend crafting.

I made some very cute Halloween napkins. I have no idea why as I have no particular love of the holiday, but it was fun to knock out a quick project. Here's the fabric I used.

I think the little skeleton animals are cute.

I also gave a new project a try. I decided to make potholders. This was prompted by two factors. First, our potholders were totally worn out and not pretty. Second, one of Mary's relatives had made some at her shower and I thought it would be a fun little skill to have in my repertoire.

Here's my first go at a tutorial.


You will be cutting 9 inch squares. Here you can see one square of white cotton (the color isn't important because you won't actually see this), one square of fleece, and one square of Insulbrite. The Insulbrite is what does most of the heat blocking, but make sure the rest of the interior fabrics are all natural fibers. Polyester is very bad at insulating heat seeing as it is a plastic and all that.


You also need four 9" squares that are pressed in to half squares.


Finally, you need one square that will be your main fabric for the top of the potholder.

Next, stack the squares with the white fabric face down, followed by the fleece, followed by the Insulbrite.


Place the main fabric square face up on top of the pile. Next, you'll need to basket weave your four half squares. Place them so that the raw edge is facing out and the folded, finished edge, is towards the middle. Like this.


Then you weave the four halves together making sure you like how they are ordered.


Notice though how the edges are sticking out a little funny? Well, to make the potholder as square and straight as possible, square up your sides using scissors or a rotary cutter so that it is perfectly square.

You also want to liberally pin the layers together as they will shift when you start sewing.

Next, you'll line the edge of your potholder up with the edge of your presser foot. This gives about a 1/4" seam allowance, but more than that, your presser foot won't change size, so you know your seam will be straight.


After you sew all the way around, trim the corners and any major excess. You also need to turn the whole thing inside out using the little hole that the four fabrics make on the back.



Finally, use a wooden dowl, pencil eraser, or some sort of not too sharp stick to poke out the insides of the corners. The reason it can't be too sharp is that you don't want to poke a hole in your fabric. I've done it and it makes you sad.


At the end, you have a cute, very sturdy potholder.


I love that you can put your hand through the back to hold on to the hot dishes better.


I ended up making 4 in coordinating fabrics.


After you get your squares cut, the whole process only takes about 15 minutes. So quick, easy and practical. Yay!

Confession

I hope the Cardinals lose in the coming weeks. I'm so ready for baseball to be over.

Fall

I have a complex relationship with fall. I love the colors, foods made with pumpkin, the return of winter squashes. I'm even excited to be back in the classroom. However, my love of all these things is often overshadowed by the knowledge that winter will soon be here.

For now though, let's appreciate some lovely fall things that I've been enjoying in the past week.


Need I say more?


Pretty house stuff


Football of course

How about you? What are your feelings about fall?

Catching Up

Clearly school is back in session. After a week of meetings and a week of classes, I'm beat. Things are going well though, and I'm feeling very positive about the year. I have one section of AP and three sections of freshmen. We're trying lots of new teaching ideas in both classes including flipping classrooms. It's a pretty cool idea where you do activities in class and send kids home with videos to watch as replacements to lectures. So far, the response from the kids has been great.

On the home front, I didn't see my husband at all this week. I forget what was going on Monday, but he worked late on Tuesday, Wednesday he didn't make it home until midnight after working an auction, Thursday I stayed home with our crazy dogs while he went to an art opening, and Friday I went to a dinner with my mom who is in town while he was at the baseball game. We did go to dinner last night finally, so it was great to hang with him. :)

Speaking of last night's dinner, we tried Sancutaria for the first time. It is located in The Grove. Our table was on the patio, and I'm so glad it was! The space is beautiful and last night's weather was perfect. I have to say that the food was amazing. We had plantains two ways, eggplant, these amazing cheese cigars, and some lovely desserts. It was a little pricey, but not totally insane. We also clearly splurged. It would have been easy to eat for less. All that being said, I don't know that we'd go back unless we knew the weather was good for sitting outside. The service was really pretty bad. It got better as the night went on, but the beginning made us all wonder if we had made a big mistake. Like I said though, if the weather was nice, the food was good enough for me to give them another try.

Our plan for today is to have brunch at Salt and then go to the closing of Urban Wanderers at the SLU Art Museum. I hope I can find time to blog about brunch. I love their dinner menu and have been eagerly waiting to try their brunch.

Book Review

I've been reading a ton this summer, but a friend requested that I review one of my recent reads: Uglies by, Scott Westerfeld.



I didn't realize when I started reading this book that it was part of a trilogy. The story takes place in the future, after there was a huge catastrophe, and every person is forced to go through cosmetic surgery to make them "pretty." The surgery is supposed to take place on a person's 16th birthday. As you can probably guess, something goes wrong with the main character and her surgery. The rest of the book follows Tally as she moves through not being pretty.

It's funny, my friend who is a librarian at school kept recommending the book to me when he found out I liked the Hunger Games trilogy. For some reason, I never took the book though. I'm so glad he took it upon himself to add it to my pile for the summer. Now I have to see if they have the second two books: Pretties and Specials. I would say if you liked the Hunger Games, you would like this book too. I'll be interested to see if the next books are as good as the first.

ETA: Here is the official teaser.
Tally is about to turn sixteen, and she can't wait. Not for her license -- for turning pretty. In Tally's world, your sixteenth birthday brings an operation that turns you from a repellent ugly into a stunningly attractive pretty and catapults you into a high-tech paradise where your only job is to have a really great time. In just a few weeks Tally will be there.

But Tally's new friend Shay isn't sure she wants to be pretty. She'd rather risk life on the outside. When Shay runs away, Tally learns about a whole new side of the pretty world -- and it isn't very pretty. The authorities offer Tally the worst choice she can imagine: find her friend and turn her in, or never turn pretty at all. The choice Tally makes changes her world forever.

More Crafting

Just to be clear, I don't like how Christmas starts in September these days. I used to love going to the mall right after Thanksgiving and seeing it transformed. Now they decorate by Halloween. Nevertheless, with my new sewing obsession, it is time to start planning my holiday crafts. I'm almost finished with my first gift (pics to come,) but I really want to make stockings. My husband has refused to give up his childhood stocking. It is literally falling apart. With that in mind, I want to make stockings for us that match/coordinate.

The tutorial I'll be using is from Diary of a Quilter. The instructions she has are for small, gift bag type stockings, but I will make bigger ones. I think I'll also add an interfacing to give them a little more structure. I worry that just cotton would get too saggy. I'll also have to add a loop to hang them. Thanks for letting me think through all that. :)

Anyway, fabric choices are obviously important. I don't think my husband is quite ready for a true grownup stocking, so I thought I'd make him a fun one. The outer fabric would be the one on the left and the inner fabric the one on the right.





What do you think? Green or red?

I'm planning to make two of these pairings with the hopes that, if we ever get pregnant, the monkey one could go to our child and my husband would be willing to have a grownup stocking.







So, which two?