A Lot to Take In

I had my 37 week appointment this week. Since the baby has been measuring big, the doctor ordered a growth ultrasound to get an idea of her size. The news was not good. She's already 10 pounds. This combined with my narrow pelvis has set me up for a scheduled c section. This is not at all what I had planned or hoped for. Actually, now that I'm faced with it I laugh at myself from 9 months ago. I was so sure I only cared about healthy baby and healthy me. When faced with reality, I care. This week I've gone from being a hysterical mess on Tuesday, to being kind of angry in Thursday, to accepting things pretty well today. I have another appointment on Wednesday, so I'll be able to ask more questions. And I have lots of questions. I've started doing more research about what choices I do have with the surgery though. I guess I always knew a c section would be a possibility, but I never really looked into details and possibilities. So it's good that I can have a list of talking points to take with me to my appointment this week. I will say my emotional well being wasn't helped by the fact that my appointment was with one of the other doctors. It was the first time I met her, but luckily I had been warned by other friends in the practice that she is not the mst warm and fuzzy person out there. She walked in the room and was like, "you're crying." and she just said it in this kind of annoyed tone. Then she said I wasn't as dilated as my doctor had said. And so on. So I left feeling sad, scared, and just overall down about the whole thing. I don't think she's a bad doctor, and my guess is that I would like her on an intellectual level. However, on Tuesday, what I really needed was a little more compassion. I know I'll write at least one more post this week about a related topic and how hurtful people can be. But for now, that's all I've got.

Shower #2

Better late than never, right? I had my second shower at Salt a couple weeks ago. It was amazing! The food was outstanding, and I loved getting a chance to hang with more of my friends. I always feel a little funny having gift giving parties, but I do like getting to see so many great friends all at one time. So, here are some pictures of the event.

That's me with Carol and Ashely.

My mom and second mom, Jane.

Look at the cutest gift bag ever! Thanks Joline.

My dad has been disappointed that there aren't many grandpa clothes for babies. He had this really funny onsie made that I just love though.

After the event with my mom. Notice my red eyes? Well, there was certainly some crying when I got the present from my parents.

They gave me a mom necklace. I'm sure you've seen the ones on Etsy with the nest or the peas in a pod. I thought I wanted one of those. But this is so much more. The charm is a tree of life. Those rings? They are my parents' baby rings. It's a tradition that is no longer fashionable, but how amazing that they've given me such a wonderful heirloom.

Assuming this little girl arrives on time, she'll be a June baby. That means her birthstone is pearl. Here is what the finished piece will look like with her birthstone on it. Wow. Yup, I cried. It is the most meaningful gift anyone could have given me and I will always cherish it. I am sure it will also be around my neck 95% of the time.

Shower #1!

I was incredibly blessed to have a wonderful shower hosted by my dear friend Joline.



Doesn't the room look awesome? And that spread of food was BEFORE Ame brought the Jilly's cupcakes.

I got to spend time with some fabulous friends who really showered me with love. Here are a few more pictures of the day.







And let's pay special attention to the awesome diaper tricycle that Joline made. How sweet is that?!?!



I feel so blessed and this baby is really lucky already.

A's Quote of the Day

A's sister called today and we were chatting about baby stuff that was an was not done. Today, he finished painting the main walls of the nursery. Yay! Now all that's left is the decorative work which he thinks can be done in a day. He still won't commit to a name though! When his sister told him it was time to choose especially since painting was done his response was, "Today was painting day, not pick a name day. You can't do both on the same day."

At some point you just have to laugh. I'm starting to really believe that this kid is coming home with the name Baby T.

Back to work tomorrow.

Bump Pic

Here's a shot of my 29 week bump. I don't know why I'm sticking my butt out so far because it kind of ruins the effect of the cute outfit.

We are making progress on the nursery so expect a post with lots of pictures soon. April is actually going to be super busy with showers, house updates, and the start of baby classes. I plan to blog about it all so I can have it for the memories.

That's my life

Yup, I'm a stereotype. I was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Klassy. :)

100 Days!

That's right boys and girls. Today marks 100 days until my due date. Eeeek!

I'm exactly not ready at all.

Follow up ultrasound on Wednesday as well as my one hour glucose test. I really hope I pass! I'll be staying away from sugar for the next few days. ::sigh::

Sorry

I have to complain a little. I am still sooooooo happy to be pregnant. I love feeling her move around and to know that every day she gets stronger and stronger. At the same time, this week has been kind of lame. I'm really tired. My belly button hurts. Who knew that could happen? I hate my swollen ankles at the end of a long day. Putting on my socks is hard. And, I really look pregnant. I always thought I would love that, but now that it's true, I just look fatter and grosser than usual.

I know all this seems worse because I have such a busy week at work and spring break is still two weeks away. I just want a day to sleep. And sleep, and sleep, and sleep.

I'm so lucky that A takes good care of me though and doesn't really expect me to do much at home these days.

That's it for now. I'm off to start another 12+ hour day. Goody!

rabbit, rabbit

celebrate

Notice that the type is all little letters in the title. That's because yesterday was a day for a small celebration at our house. Yesterday the baby turned 24 weeks. That means she's viable! Clearly we are hoping she keeps cooking for quite a while longer, but the fact that she COULD have a good chance of surviving is a wonderful feeling.

I'm feeling movement every day, but I wish A could feel it. So far whenever he's tried, she's stopped squirming the second his hand touches my belly. I guess we need to try right after I drink juice or eat candy or something. :)

There's no other big news right now except the fact that I've totally changed my game plan for the nursery. Rather than blue, grey, and orange, I've changed to yellow with orange, pink, green, and blue accents. It will allow me to play with more fun fabrics and I think will make the room sunnier. The cheerful aspect is important to me since so much of the year here is dreary and gray.

So, that's the news here. I had a flat tire today, but luckily I leave for work at the crack of dawn so AAA was at my house in about 20 minutes to fix it and get me moving. Good thing I woke up A too because for a moment I considered changing it myself. Luckily he reminded me that I was 6 months pregnant and the would be a stupid thing to do. What can I say, I forget some times that I'm not supposed to do EVERYTHING I used to.

Surprising Decision

We visited our second hospital last night. The first visit went really well. In fact, I was surprised how much I liked it. I've had several friends deliver at Hospital 1, but visiting them, I didn't like the rooms as much and it didn't feel as cozy. I'd also heard some things about them being less supportive of skin-to-skin contact after birth, not having as good lactation consultants, and babies being "taken away to the nursery" regardless of mom's wishes. Needless to say I was pleasantly surprised to see that the rooms were much nicer than I remembered, the tour guide, a nurse with 30+ years of experience at that hospital in the maternity unit, consistently emphasized the importance of bonding time, and the discussion that the baby can be with you as much or as little as you like. It's true that you have to change rooms a couple times, but the thought of that doesn't bother me too much. The hospital also had lots of nice amenities including kitchenettes in each ward to get food 24 hours a day. They also have meals on demand. It seemed like DH could also be comfortable there. I've since heard that the lactation consultants at this hospital are very good which makes me feel better. I'm nervous about breast feeding and think I will probably need strong support. Finally, the NICU at this hospital is the highest rated in the region.

Hospital 2, where we visited last night, is where I was SURE I wanted to deliver. I went in with a super positive attitude ready to fight DH for my right to deliver here. The tour started with a little presentation by a doula. I swear this didn't color my impression of the facility, but this woman was SO annoying. She just didn't come across as confident, knowledgeable, or as a very good salesperson for the hospital. Luckily though I had already done some research before going. Now this hospital is more known for encouraging/supporting med free childbirth, breastfeeding, etc. It was interesting listening to her say they would support it being "however I wanted" meaning they would give meds and such if I wanted them. Clearly they are not opposed to the reputation they've acquired. We toured the maternity areas next. This hospital is much smaller and all areas (L&D, Recovery, Nursery, Postpartum, NICU) are all on the same floor and connected by a single hallway. The rooms themselves are lovely with hardwood floors and cozy paint. The norm here is for the baby to room in with mom MOST of the time, but they do have a nursery and there was a baby in it last night. So precious. It was a girl with one of those little hospital hats with a bow on it. Anyway, they have some nice amenities, but not as many as Hospital 1. I also think DH could be comfortable here, but I don't think there are AS many options for him. Finally, the NICU is SLIGHTLY lower accredited than Hospital 1, but the facility has a partnership with the local children's hospital for any extreme cases.

So, after the visit, the decision was clear to me. Despite my pre-conceived notions, I just feel that Hospital 1 is the place for us. DH was great and said I really should choose whatever makes me happiest, but I think this is the right decision. I'm sure there will be more surprises as we go through this whole process, but for now, I'm just pleased we have a hospital.

I'm sure some of the things I'm looking at are not actually important, but at this point in my life, I don't know what I really NEED to have a baby, but I do know what I would look for to make MYSELF comfortable so I've decided to make this decision based on what I do know.

It's all in a name

Let me preface this post by saying two things. First, we don't have a name picked out yet. A doesn't want to even get into the discussion really until he is more sure of the sex. Second, even when we do pick a name, we won't be sharing it until the baby is born. Not even with family. We just don't trust people not to share ALL their opinions with us before she is born.

Now on to what I was thinking about. I've still been thinking about names and such and I have a definite front runner for our little girl. I then started thinking about middle names. My cousin sent us The Baby Name Wizard book to help with our name search. It is a cool book that not only has a big section where it lists a bunch of names, but it also groups names by type. So it's kind of like Amazon. "If you like the name X, you might like...."

Using the name I think we should use for our first name, I looked in the categories where it falls for middle name ideas. While several sounded nice together in terms of rhythm and such, I noticed that the character of the name changed drastically based on the middle name. One middle name would make everything feel timeless while another would make it feel like I was a wannabe celebrity naming my kid Apple or something.

Attaching a name to a person, an identity that they will probably have the rest of their life, it such a big responsibility! It's a good thing we have several more months to get it hammered out.

22 weeks

I finally caved and decided to start taking belly pics. BUT! Since I hate to have my picture taken I saw someone online start taking them this way and I decided I like it.



I can still TOTALLY see my feet.

Here is the science picture at 22w. However, I like this 21w picture better.


We had our anatomy scan. Everything looks really good! The baby was being stubborn though so the pictures aren't very good. I'll get a re-scan in a few weeks to get a profile shot, double check the diaphragm and to confirm that it's a GIRL!

DH is still a little nervous about actually making girl plans, but I keep telling him he better jump on the bandwagon or I'm naming this kid without him. :)

Opinions Please

What do we think of this for a diaper bag? Is it too little kid? I'd love your thoughts and opinions.

Telling my students

I told my students today.

I teach an AP class and one of the labs we do requires us to genetically modify e.coli so that it is resistant to antibiotics. Strongly enough, my doctor thinks this might be a bad idea seeing as my immune system is suppressed already. That whole parasite thing growing in me and everything. :)

Anyway, my team teacher is going to do the lab for me tomorrow, so that meant I would have to tell my AP kids. Well, if I told them, then I needed to tell my advisees first. It was interesting. There was literally CHEERING. I don't know what I expected, but I'm used to high school students being much more reserved. I felt very loved.

I know my blogging has been sparse to say the least, but with the holidays, things have been so busy I just can't keep up. I'm still feeling pretty good, and things are actually kind of real now! My last appointment was awesome! I got good reviews on my bp and weight. Baby Gumbo was moving A LOT and head a perfect little heartbeat. I can't wait until January 30. That is our anatomy scan so we get to SEE the baby again. I have started feeling him/her a bit and it's really cool.

Here are some pictures of how s/he has grown over the past few weeks.


12 weeks

13 weeks

14 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks-technically this is tomorrow, but it's close enough

Happy baby! And I just felt him/her move, so this post must not totally suck.

Digital Dossier

I've had several people ask me why I'm not posting ultrasound pics and stuff on Facebook.

Don't Judge

Written 12w3d

I had my second appointment yesterday and it was great. After being stressed all day the nurse warned me that they might not be able to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler. I knew this was possible, so, eyes bulging, I asked her what would happen then. She reassured me that we would immediately go to the ultrasound room to check it out. Phew.

Anyway, my blood pressure was high for me since I'd been stressed all day, but they seemed ok with everything else. She started moving the Doppler around, and there it was! My little woosh woosh. HR 160!!! Yay!

Now I'm free to let the cat out of the bag.

The point of this story is that after stressing all day I had a raging headache that would not quit. Of course I can't take any good drugs for it, so I did a little Tylenol and tried to sleep it off. I woke up this morning nauseous and still with the headache. It felt just like a hangover. So I decided to do a last ditch effort with a true hangover cure. I stopped at McDonald's and got a sausage biscuit and a small Coke. It did the trick. That's only the second caffinated beverage I've had this pregnancy but otherwise I was going to have to take a sick day. Good to know some things still work.

Thanksgiving

Written 11w2d

My appointment is one week from today! Sheesh the time seemed to crawl by. Thanksgiving day was long but nice. I missed my family, but we had a nice time with A's in IL. The food was better then usual and we played a fun game of Phase 10. The family is very excited, so I only hope that everything goes well next week. Not only do I fear how I would handle it but how the families will take it. I keep praying though, and I guess that's the best I can do.

11 Weeks

Written 11w0d

Not much to report this week. I'm glad it's Thanksgiving week so I can sleep and sleep and sleep. I've caught myself slipping this week as I hear people talk about their T1 experiences. But I'm just not ready to share with the world though. I keep praying that my appointment next week goes smoothly so I can feel a little more happy and a little less scared.

A Quote

Written at 10w5d

My friend Alyssa is pregnant! She announced this week at 14w. She was one of my best supporters as we tried and tried. Alyssa finally got pregnant on her second round of IVF, and I just could not be happier for her. She and her husband will make great parents, and I'm excited that our kids can, hopefully, spend some time together. Her due date is almost exactly one month before mine.

Anyway, like me, she waited to tell and wrote blog posts to update the time between finding out and telling. Last night's post was about symptoms and lack thereof. So far, I have had a VERY easy pregnancy. So easy in fact, that every day I think it might not be real. I've had almost NO nausea, my bloating has definitely gotten under control, and, more than anything, I'm just tired. Not so bad. Well, I worry that these easy peasy symptoms must mean something is wrong. I feel like December 1 won't ever get here, and I just need to hear that heartbeat again to reassure me that everything is ok.

But on to the quote. Alyssa said, "I really want to be at a place where I feel okay to be "p," confident to say it and not constantly worry. Every free moment I have, I say a prayer for the babies that they're okay and strong and growing. I'm not sure I'll feel that way until I see and hear heartbeats which hopefully will be very soon!" [I'm not linking her blog since it's so personal, but if I get permission I'll add the links.]

Obviously I only have one heartbeat to listen for but I really feel the need to know that everything is ok in there. My doctor was very clear that since we saw and heard the baby at 8w, everything is PROBABLY fine. In fact, the odds are STRONGLY in our favor. Nevertheless, it was hard to get here. I can't imagine how shattered I will be if we lose this baby.

Chin up! Thanksgiving is this week and I only have two days of work! Hopefully I can get some sewing in over the break because I've been too tired to do any since getting knocked up. Lol

10 Weeks

Written 10w0d

Double digits!

OITT is now the size of a prune.

I was a little freaked over the weekend because my abdomen was sore. Not crampy or anything, just sore like I had done 1000 crunches. I called the doc and the nurse said I was fine. She then said I was not annoying and that they were there for just such calls.

Not to worry though, my symptoms came back today. I'm super bloated and thinking about bed and it's only 7:30. I also bought maternity pants this weekend to make room for my blump. Actually, I think it might be a real, honest to goodness, tiny bump. My lower abdomen is hard and when I TRY to suck it in, it is almost painful.

Two weeks and two days until the next appointment.